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should i give up? [24 Dec 2006|01:08am]
so im thinking of giving up for now on the whole girl thing? ive made my mind up on the subject of the last entry, due to the fact that i dont think you can turn a friendship from a relationship back into a relationship after you already had troubles w/ that person in the first go around.

but there is also this girl whom ive known since highschool and to this day i still have those same feelings for her as i did back then. in lots of ways i feel she might be the ideal girl that ive been looking for.....the downfall.....she goes to school in texas and is only in town, during the breaks when school is out. it sucks sooo bad. ive been hanging out w/ her the past couple of nights and ive wanted to say something to her soo bad, but im so damn shy to say anything to her. i just wish i wasnt so shy and she didnt goto school so far away. i cant bring myself to say one word to any girl face to face. im afraid of rejection, i get tongue tied and sometimes i just dont even have anything to say when it comes down to it.

so therefor, im thinking of just giving up being alone.....me, myself and i.
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confusion, confusion [18 Dec 2006|09:41pm]
ok im not sure how to go about this but ill try. so there is this girl from my past who i still talk to and hang out every now and then. we get along pretty good, and sometimes end up cuddling and making out....it just feels nice. things seems great but i keep telling myself, that i cant get involved in a relationship w/ her. memories come back to me of the good and bad times we had in the past. part of me keeps thinking to get back w/ her but i always talk myself into backing out. i have so much fun when im out by myself and not having to worry about pissing someone off b/c im out w/ friends and not w/ them, or worrying that they might think im out doing something different than what i told them. but at the same time, i have a lot of fun hanging out w/ her and it seems kind of good. i dont want her to feel that im using her in any way what so ever, i could never do that to anyone, even if my life was on the line. were good friends and shes been there for me through thick and thin when times for me have been hard. im just not sure what to do. ive pretty much broken her heart before and dont ever want to do it again, its not me. pleeeeasse somebody help meeeee!!!! im so damn confused i dont know what i want from myself or anyone.
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Siiigggghhhhh [28 Nov 2006|09:48pm]
[ mood | blah ]

so i was sitting here thinking......which all of my thinking isnt always good. is there actually anyone out there that im ment to be w/? in a year ive talked to one girl for a couple weeks and then it was gone, like a cloud of smoke. nothing since then has happened. its almost like i dont exist. i always hear about girls begging for a nice guy in their life that will treat them like a queen, respect them w/ all greatness instead of being mr. asshole who is always fighting and beating on girls. but when it comes down to it, those girls who want the nice guy always end up w/ the assoles..i dont get it. if youre talking to me about wanting mr. nice guy, well look no further im right infront of you. i dont smoke, i dont drink, no kinds of drugs whatsoever, im straightedge, drug free. i work full time and stay at home mostly. i have my own vehicle to get me around. i dont want girls just for sex, infact, im still a virgin, yes believe it or not, i am. so you tell me, why am i the nice guy that gets over looked and seem to not exist.

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Its Been A Year [27 Nov 2006|02:00pm]
wow its been over a year since i last posted in this. a lot has happened since then. i broke up w/ my g/f of a year a week or so after my last entry. i finally got my truck paid off which is great. i met up w/ some old friends who i lost contact w/ in the past. after meeting up w/ them, i realize why i lost contact w/ them. they were the same people from middle school and high school who partied, smoked pot, drank and whatnot. i got away from all that when i was ready to graduate from high school and enter the real world. im very glad i done so.

i dont really know what to say. back in march, i was talking to a girl who i had been friends w/ for a couple years in highschool and we dated for a bit. things were awesome, then all of a sudden, out of no where, she just stopped talking to me. im still confused to this day as to what happened. i have yet to know another girl that i got along w/ so well and made me feel all bubbly inside lol. but thats been over for awhile, but i still think about her every now and then.

im trying to gather things that has happened this year. but arent really coming to me. the saddest part of the year to me, was losing my uncle in a car wreck. he had been drinking and was on his way home. i know, i know, everyone says that being drunk is what caused it.....but no! thats not the cause. he was slowing down to turn onto boughman ave off of gose pike in danville. the rear brakes locked up on him and sent him crashing into a tree on the opposite side of the road. he wasnt wearing a seatbelt, and the impact killed him instantly. its the worst thing thats happened to my family since my grandfather passed away in 1990-91. he was the closest uncle to me out of my moms 3 brothers. he was the clown of the family, who always had a smile on his face making you laugh. but i know hes hanging out in heaven, keeping an eye on us everyday. its crazy how someone you love so much can be gone in a split second. as im typing this tears are forming. i cant even stand to hear nickelbacks song "far away" w/ out forming a tear or two. it was the song that my uncles youngest son wanted played at the funeral. its been 3 months and it just seems like yesterday.

my sister had a little girl back during the summer. shes gotten so big and is one of the happiest babys ive ever seen.

well thats it for now. im sure theres more, but if i decide to update i will.

brittany, i hope youre happy lol, youve left two comments on my last post for me to update so i did haha.
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[09 Nov 2005|08:52pm]
I Feel Empty..................................
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cancled shows and the huddle house [26 Feb 2005|07:46am]
well lastnight i went to lex to meet up w/ my friend cameron that i havent seen since this time last year. he was promoting a show for a band called the break which is on ferret records. i got up there and come to find out the band hd to cancel b/c they broke down in arkansas. so we were both bummed about that. i decided to stay and hang out w/ him we both didnt have anything to do. we talked alot about weve been up to, people we graduated w/ and what not. found out what others were up to....some in iraq, some t film school in cali, colleges else where and all that. we went out to the huddle house which is an awesome plac. for like $6 you can get a drink, scrambled eggs, 3 strips of bacon, hashbrowns and sausage and biscuits or brits and toast. the food was great. it was a good night. im going to start going up there more often b/c cameron promotes all these bands and has them to come and play shows in lexington. bands from, new jersey, texas, indiana, ohio, michigan and a couple of more he has done. its awesome to know someone who does that.
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[23 Jan 2005|07:51pm]
[ mood | in deep pain ]

well today hasnt been soo pleasent. this morning mikey and i went to walmart and bought some cheap skateboards and took the wheels and things off the bottom to make snowboards. needless to say someone got hurt. we went out to the skatepark messing around on all the ice and before i knew it........all my weight comes whailing down on my shoulder contacting to nothing but concrete. i got this sever pain in my left shoulder. i went and had it x-rayed, theres no fracture but ive possibly more than likely torn some ligaments or whatever is in your shoulder. i feel like a gimp, i cant move it hardly any w/ out it hurting. bad thing about it is...i have to work for 12hrs tomorrow and i know damn well its going to kill me.

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[19 Jan 2005|05:52pm]
well lets see here. today i came home for lunch from work, i found out that i owe $266 and my carwill be fully paid for, i might (dont take my word just yet) be getting a new vehicle. but the bad news one of my alaskan huskies died this morning :(. something had been wrong w/ yukon for about a week, he wasnt acting himself, being all hyper and things. my dad fed him one day and seen a pile of blood and checked yukon out but didnt see any on him so he didnt think anything else. but i guess it might have been ineternal. ive been feeling bad ever since then. a dog of mine dies, and my nephews poodle he got for christmas dies last week. i dont know what it is, its crazy.

R.I.P Yukon (march 2004-january 2005)
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mixed state of emotions [01 Nov 2004|10:00pm]
im having mixed emotions right now. i just realized today that a good friend of mine (jacob)'s mother passed away yesterday in thier home. if you havent read before, she had been dealing w/ cancer for about 2 years now. she didnt give up w/ out a fight though. thats how she was. she was a very open minded and spoke what was on her mind. she was like a mother to me and several other friends. im sad that shes gone but im happy that shes in a better place and not suffering. how else can one feel? i loved every minute that i was around marsha. she kept us laughing inside and out. threatened me once tht if i didnt take my hat off before coming to her house i was never allowed back. she allowed me. im going to miss her soo much as will others. its not going to be the same going to that house and her not being there. but i will still step foot inside that house like its my own b/c we were always welcomed like family.
(Love You and Miss You Marsha Hinton October 31st 2004)
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[22 Oct 2004|04:01pm]
wow um i hate bills. i hate paying things. $315 is what i got on my check today and i only have $80 to spare for 2 weeks and im needing stuff as we speak. money just doesnt go far anymore unless youre rich or your parents pay for every little thing in the world you own or want. why cant i be rich? this sucks. i want to sign up for disability, social security and welfare. just b/c, thats that.

im also really worried/scared right now for 1 family in mind, the hintons. my friend jacob, his mom has been fighting cancer for almost 2 years now, and i hear shes not doing to well now. thier whole family has been at thier house for weeks keeping an eye on marsha. jacob drove 7 hours yesterday from north carolina. myself, mikey and jcob hung out and rode our bikes for a few hours to keep things of our minds. i just really wish she pulls through whatever is going on right now. its weird though, i seen her last month and she was doing really great, as a normal person w/ out cancer or anything would be doing. but now a month later things totally change. im worried. shes like another mother to me and i dont want to lose her. knowing someone for 5-6 years and then this happens is just a totally turn around on people lives.
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